half of my heart

I’ve been dodging text messages and screening phone calls all weekend. Sorry, friends. I’m alive and well; no toaster in the bathtub. Still making inappropriate jokes. Ob la di, ob la da.

I suppose it’s time to address the giant pink elephant in my life. While it’s really impersonal to do this via blog post, I don’t have the strength or patience to keep explaining it over and over. From now on, I’ll just give this url out when people want to know what happened to the relationship so many had so much faith in.

I’ve spent the last few days trying to figure out how to live my life as a ‘me’ and not a ‘we’. For the first time since my last year of college, I am single.

What a strange world we live in that one of the first things we did after breaking up was hide our relationship status on Facebook in hopes of people not finding out through a social networking site. Apparently, our efforts were no match for the live feed, and some people still noticed the change while creeping Thursday morning. To that, I am embarrassed and sorry—we were trying to keep it quiet so others wouldn’t be hurt.

I should mention that this is being written with Scott’s permission. He and I still talk several times per day, and while it’s cliché to say this breakup was a mutual decision, it truly was. We decided together that the best thing for both of us is to call it quits.

Being honest with ourselves, we both know this has been a long time coming. It’s easy to get comfortable in a relationship, and if I were still in SD, I am sure we’d still be together. We probably would have been for a long, long time. It took breaking out of our comfort zone of seeing each other every weekend to realize that we were really just delaying the inevitable. We want different things out of life. We both agree that, eventually, we would have had the same outcome in the same state as we are living in different time zones.

Scott is my best friend; he’s half of my heart. He helped me grow up from an irresponsible college student to a career-minded adult. It is his love and encouragement that made this move possible. Throughout our entire relationship, he supported whatever I wanted to do, even if he didn’t like it.

We’re lucky in that this wasn’t done out of anger; we didn’t fall out of love with each other. We’re not bitching to our friends about the other. The only time I get really, really sad is when I think about him being sad. I only want what’s best for him, and he wants the same for me.



I’d be lying if I said this breakup wasn’t one of the hardest things I’ve ever been through. Luckily, my best friend happens to be going through the exact same pain. Like everything else we’ve been faced with, Scott and I are getting through this together.

Thanks to everyone for your amazing support. That’s all I have to say on the subject.